Exercise Induced Apathy

Workout:

35 min. elliptical

25 min. bike

Various arm/leg/ab strength thing-a-mag-jigs

Today felt like a really long day. I had no motivation to be a real person at all. I woke up feeling super anxious (it probably had to do with the 3/4 box of chocolates I had last night ... or the half bottle of wine). I felt like I sleep walked through work all day. But I knew I'd get to go to the gym later. That was only thing that kept me even halfway sane.

The gym was pretty phenomenal. I was actually dripping sweat by the end and it felt like all of my anxiety was gone, at least for a little bit ...

Then I cam home and finished my box of chocolates and let the roommate convince me to have Taco Bell for dinner. I've been pretty frustrated lately about my weight loss (or lack thereof) and I think I've found the culprit - exercise induced apathy. Whenever I go to the gym, I feel like it gives me license to be lazy. It's ok to eat that extra piece of bread - I went to the gym today. I can take the elevator instead of the stairs - I went to the gym today. Two glasses of wine? Why not, I went to the gym today. As I write this, I'm popping chocolate and drinking wine. It doesn't seem to really happen when I workout late in the day - I very rarely give into prospective apathy. But when I run in the morning (which is what my schedule has been requiring lately), I take it as license to go nuts. I'm really going to have to try to reign that in!

How was your workout today? Do you take a workout as the go ahead to binge eat?

Speedy McSpeederson

Workout:

2 miles – 19:40

Potential dance class later (?)

I was more than a little sluggish this morning after a weekend of too much food and too much wine and too much sun. I realized that I had never turned my Garmin off after Saturday’s “long” run and it was out of battery. Crap. I knew that if I waited for it to charge I’d never make it out of the house. So, off to the gym I went.

I used to love doing my runs on the treadmill. I’m mildly [read: exceptionally] anal about distance and pace and knowing exactly how fast and how far I’m going. For a long time, the treadmill was the only way to ensure that my numbers were accurate. Sure, I had a digital watch with a timer to determine my overall time and Google maps to get my distance, but I knew it wasn’t 100% accurate. Then, I met my friend Henry. My sister gave me Henry, my Garmin, for Christmas this year and let me tell you, I am obsessed. I love tracking my pace and distance in real time, seeing the various different graphs when I sync him to my computer and really just everything about him. I’ve run almost all of my runs since I got him outside and it’s been pretty awesome. My knees aren’t hurting as much (I think this probably has to do with the way I change my form on the treadmill) and I feel like I’m becoming a much stronger runner.

Which leads me to this morning’s run. I thought I’d love being back on the treadmill again. Thursday night I ran on the treadmill and it felt great to just run and not think – not look for cars or stop lights or yappy dogs. Today was nothing like that. I knew that the gym in the morning was going to be more crowded than I wanted it to be. I knew I was going to be annoyed by the old ladies who walk on the treadmills and talk on their cell phones while I wait (not so) patiently for one to open up. Maybe it was this mentality that was the problem. Maybe it was that I spent an awesome weekend outside in gorgeous southern California weather and I didn’t want to be inside. Either way, I was in trouble. I hopped on the treadmill after a 10 minute wait and immediately, I was bored. Like, really bored. Like, counting the seconds bored. I really wanted to be running, I just didn’t want to be running on the treadmill. I knew I wanted to get 2 miles in, but at the rate I was going, I wasn’t going to make it for .2 miles. So I decided to go fast. Really fast.* I ran my first mile in 10:15 and my second in 9:25. What’s that? You think that’s a typo? Nope. That’s a 9ish minute mile. The great thing about it was that I didn’t feel bad. I wasn’t exceptionally out of breath, my legs weren’t super tired. I felt like I do after every 2 mile run – a little sad it’s over so soon, a little pleased it’s done, a little red in the face (it’s a thing – I get really red when I exercise, even a little bit. People stop and ask me if I’m ok. Yes, I’m fine, I’m just very pale). I’m not sure where all of this speed is coming from, but I’m definitely not going to complain!

*Note: Yes, I realize this is not actually really fast. No, I do not care. It’s really fast for me, and that’s what counts.

Tramps like us, baby we were born to run

Workout: 5 miles, 53:50

5 miles down and it feels pretty great! I had originally planned on running this nice and easy, hoping for about an 11:40 pace. After my last treadmill run I decided I'd be ambitious and aim for an 11 minute pace - still slower than my weekday runs but faster than I had been running. I am a new convert to the idea that you really don't know how fast you can run until you try. Then, I talked to my dad. While you'd never know it to look at him now, my dad used to be a pretty good cross-country runner. He suggested I run my first mile with an 11 min pace and then see if I could kick it up to 10 for the middle miles and back down to 11 for the last mile. At first I was really unsure. Me? Run more than 2 10 min miles? Surely you jest. He reminded me that I didn't think I could run one 10 min mile, let alone 2, so maybe 3 wasn't completely outside the realm of possibility (hence my new speed philosophy above).

I got up and out this morning at around 8, which is probably still too late to start but is a vast improvement over last week's 11:15 debacle. I decided to go running at a park by Moondoggie's house because a) I was there and b) his neighborhood doesn't have sidewalks. Now. I have done all of my running, ever, almost exclusively on streets. I have a hard time working up motivation to drive somewhere to go running, so I just map runs from my apartment. It's not always awesome, but it gets the job done. So I was both excited and nervous to run on an actual running path. What if it was really empty and I got raped by a crazy man? I tried to convince Moondoggie he wanted to come with me, but he not so politely declined. Then I got nervous about the actual stopping. I usually end up stopping once or twice per "long" run to wait for lights. Would I be able to cover the distance without these 15 second breaks? My knee hadn't been loving me all week, what if it hurt in the middle of the loop and I couldn't just hop a bus back to my car? These are the ridiculous things I think about.

Well, all of my fears were unfounded. In fact, the park was PACKED! This was both awesome and frustrating. I love people watching so I never got bored, which was awesome. I loved running on the path because I knew it was a 5 mile loop, so I didn't have to worry - I could just follow the curve of the road! There was a Team in Training group run going on, which was both great to see and really obnoxious. I think TNT is a great organization. My sister is training to run her first half with them and she loves them. They raise money for an amazing cause and teach people some really great things about running. In that respect, it was inspiring to see so many TNTers out and running. But. There were a couple of things about the way they had organized their run that really bothered me. First, they were running in fairly large groups. I'm more of a solo runner myself but I can understand the benefits of running with a group. However, it sucked that they were 4 or 5 abreast. This made it really difficult to pass. I was also taken aback by their attitude. They set up some sort of checkpoint/finish line area about 1/2 way around the loop. They had a canopy set up with gatorade and a cheering section. I think that's great. I'd love it if every long run felt like a race! As I approached, I noticed they were cheering on all of the TNTers who passed. When I passed, the leader (maybe?) said, "Oh, not HER. Don't cheer for HER, she's not one of us." Um, thanks, lady! I certainly wasn't expecting them to cheer for me, but I was very put off by her holier than thou attitiude. I wanted to respond, "Hey, I've given tons of money to your organization, lady!"

Anyway, the run went pretty well! As you can tell from the timing, I didn't quote make my 11-10-10-10-11 plan. I haven't uplaoded Henry's data yet, but I know I was in the 10s for the middle miles which I'll 100% take. When I was training for the half, my 5 mile time was around 62 minutes. The fastest I've EVER run 5 miles was 58:32 about 4 years ago, so this felt pretty amazing. The path was a little hillier than I anticipated and my left knee didn't love that, but all in all an excellent run!

Now I'm off to enjoy a beautiful 80 degree So-Cal weekend! How'd your "long" runs go?

Edit: Holy typos, Batman! Sorry about that, that's what I get from trying to blog from my phone in the car!

Carbo Loading

It's ok to carbo-load before a 5 mile run with past ... and red wine. Right? Right??

I thought so.

Victory?

I have kind of a million things going through my head right now ... I believe this calls for some bullet-points!

• I had a sneaking suspicion that I wasn't really very fast ... that either Henry the Garmin or the dailymile map or both were lying to me, that I was still a 12 min. mile kind of girl. To test this theory, I tried to run fast on the treadmill - and it worked! Mile 1: 10:45. Mile 2: 9:45. Whoa. I think it's time to admit that I might actually be an 11 min. mile girl! [NOTE: I am painfully aware that this is slow to other people. Whatevs. It's blistering fast to me!]
• Tonight was one of those runs where I just did not want to stop. I ran my 2 miles then hit the cool down button on the treadmill and kept upping the speed because I just didn't want to walk. As long as I was running, I didn't have to think about anything or deal with anything (see previous post about my love of this feeling).
• I know that exercise produces adrenaline and that's supposed to rev you up, but for me, nothing calms me down quite like running. I feel like I can breathe again and I'm not quite as anxious.
• Why is it always so hot in the gym? Seriously, Bally's Total Fitness.
• You should not attempt to run and cry at the same time, you will end up with a side stitch.

I'm so glad I ended up going on this run. While it didn't necessarily heal my heart or solve my problems, it made me feel better (and, truthfully, after the end of my night, it was either this or eating icing out of the can).

Have you ever used running to relieve stress? Does it calm you or just make you more edgy?

Slacker

I’m feeling a little guilty right now. I’m sitting in class after a 12 hour day that was chock full of activity. Except running. I shamelessly snuggled in and skipped my scheduled 2 mile run this morning. Didn’t shorten, didn’t run half-assed. Just did not run. And now, I’m feeling pretty guilty about it. I have a 5 mile run scheduled for Saturday and between shortening yesterday’s run and skipping today’s, I’m worried I’m just going to die on Saturday. I won’t get out of class until after 10:15 pm. I’m so tempted to run home, grab my running clothes and race to the gym (which closes at midnight – how dumb is that).

Edit: While writing this post, my very enlightened quasi-running sister said I should go to the gym. To the gym it is!

In other news, I’m supposed to run 5 miles on Saturday. I’m beyond excited and beyond nervous about it. When I was training for the ½ marathon, I loved running my long runs [which is probably why I did them so often and why I didn’t do my short mid-week runs and why I hurt myself etc. etc. etc.]. While 5 miles is by no means long, it’s long for me! Every time I start start a long run, I’m tense and worried and concerned about ridiculous minute details – what if I didn’t put on enough sunscreen? Did I remember Body Glide? How much battery does my iPod have? Why didn’t I drink more water last night? I should start before noon, is it always this hot? But by a mile or two in, I’m not really thinking about anything. Skinny Runner [who I totally want to be when I grow up] over at skinnyrunner.com asked the other day why we love to run. I run because it’s the one time a day when I don’t have to think. I spend 12-14 hours per day thinking about the briefs and demurrers and habeaus and other difficult vaguely  Latin sounding things [totally random aside: I studied Latin for 8 years and HATE when lawyers and law students mispronounce Latin terms. Hate. It.]. I love running because I don’t have to think about anything. I just have to concentrate on not falling on my face which, admittedly, is more of a challenge than you’d imagine. That’s why I can’t wait to get back out there this weekend. I’m not sure why, but there’s something about 5 miles that makes me feel like I’m back!

Also, head over to skinnyrunner.com, who’s giving away a bib for the LA Marathon and runningrambles.com where Aron is giving away an entry into the SF Marathon. Free races? Sounds good to me!

Brighter Than the Moon, Moon, Moon

True life story: Even though I tend to generally not love Katy Perry, I love the Glee versions of her songs. Darren Criss is my Teenage Dream and I may or may not be listening to Lea Michele's Firework on repeat. May or may not.