Anyone's who has ever read this blog or met me in real life knows that I am not the best runner. Let's not kid ourselves, 9/10 I'm the worst runner. I'm never going to win a race or even my age division (until I'm in the 70+ category - then watch out!). Despite what my lack of hardcore training may suggest, I don't like this about my running. When I was growing up, "winning" was everything. If you weren't the best at something or you couldn't be the best at something in the future, there was no point in doing it. "Second place is just first loser."
I think because of this, I've always been a pretty competitive person and [not to toot my own horn but] I've been pretty successful in everything I've done. Until now. I've been thinking a lot about this since the Boston Marathon. Let's face it, I'm never going to BQ. For most "casual" runners [i.e. those who do not get paid to run], Boston is the holy grail. That's what people work for and train for. It's the great accomplishment of running. And I'm never going to get there. So why run? Why put my body through 1/2 marathons that I have to slog through and come out demoralized? Yes, I like running. Yes, I like what running has done for my weight. But is it time to give up competitive running?
All of this isn't helping my panic about graduation. I worked my rear end off for 3 years and as hard as I tried, I'm not going to graduate at the top of my class. I'm not going to graduate with a fancy big law job and a 6 figure salary. I'm going to graduate in the middle of my class, from a middle tier law school, with no job and 6 figures worth of student loans. I've been asking myself a lot lately, was it worth it? I'm not sure.
I'm not going to give up competitive running just yet, just like I'm not going to give up practicing law (I totally couldn't afford to NOT be a lawyer right now). I'm focusing instead on what I AM the best at. I'm the best at straightening my hair. Seriously. I've got super thick, super curly hair down to the middle of my back and I can straighten it in 15 minutes with no mirror. I'm a pro. I am the best at random trivia - for example, today is not only Mother's Day, but also Harry Truman's Birthday and V-E Day. Your fun fact of the day. You're welcome. I was once the best at flip cup, although I am woefully out of practice. Apparently it's not acceptable to binge drink and play psuedo-drinking games as an adult. Who knew.
What are you the best at?
I think because of this, I've always been a pretty competitive person and [not to toot my own horn but] I've been pretty successful in everything I've done. Until now. I've been thinking a lot about this since the Boston Marathon. Let's face it, I'm never going to BQ. For most "casual" runners [i.e. those who do not get paid to run], Boston is the holy grail. That's what people work for and train for. It's the great accomplishment of running. And I'm never going to get there. So why run? Why put my body through 1/2 marathons that I have to slog through and come out demoralized? Yes, I like running. Yes, I like what running has done for my weight. But is it time to give up competitive running?
All of this isn't helping my panic about graduation. I worked my rear end off for 3 years and as hard as I tried, I'm not going to graduate at the top of my class. I'm not going to graduate with a fancy big law job and a 6 figure salary. I'm going to graduate in the middle of my class, from a middle tier law school, with no job and 6 figures worth of student loans. I've been asking myself a lot lately, was it worth it? I'm not sure.
I'm not going to give up competitive running just yet, just like I'm not going to give up practicing law (I totally couldn't afford to NOT be a lawyer right now). I'm focusing instead on what I AM the best at. I'm the best at straightening my hair. Seriously. I've got super thick, super curly hair down to the middle of my back and I can straighten it in 15 minutes with no mirror. I'm a pro. I am the best at random trivia - for example, today is not only Mother's Day, but also Harry Truman's Birthday and V-E Day. Your fun fact of the day. You're welcome. I was once the best at flip cup, although I am woefully out of practice. Apparently it's not acceptable to binge drink and play psuedo-drinking games as an adult. Who knew.
What are you the best at?
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